Doctors...
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on
autopsies,
and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy.
The first thing
is that you must have no sense of fear."
At this point, the lecturer
sticks his finger into the dead man's anus,
pulls it out, and then licks it.
He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them.
After a couple of minutes' silence, they follow through with his disgusting
command.
"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of
observation: How many of you noticed that I stuck my middle finger into the
corpse's anus, but I licked my index finger?"
A Shaking Granny
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking.
"Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice.
"Yes, ma'am."
"How do you turn them off?"
