What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

Damn!

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, unique up on it.

What goes clop, clop, clop, bang,bang,clop clop clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?

Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.